Alright, so lemme tell ya ’bout this Canada Vertical thing, eh? It’s like, a movie or somethin’, a real long one, they say. Took ’em years to get it all set up, imagine that! Years! What were they doin’ all that time? Probably fiddlin’ around like my grandson with his toys, ha!
Anyways, they went on this big trip, a real big one. 7,600 kilometers! That’s like, walkin’ to the moon and back, almost. Started way up north, in some place called Ellesmere Island, cold as a witch’s you-know-what, I bet. And they ended up way down south, at a place called Point Pelee. Never heard of neither, but sounds fancy.
This here movie, they showed it off at some fancy-pants festival, Banff somethin’-somethin’. Mountain films and books, they say. Sounds like a snoozefest to me, but hey, to each their own. Folks seemed to like it though, called it an “epic adventure.” Guess it was somethin’ special.
- They did all sorts of things on this trip, see.
- Skiin’, like them fellas on TV durin’ the Olympics.
- Canoein’, paddlin’ in the water, just like when my Billy used to take the ol’ boat out on the lake.
- And bicyclin’! Pedalin’ them things, musta got their legs all sore.
Eight months! That’s how long they was out there, doin’ all that skiiin’ and paddlin’ and pedalin’. Eight months! I can barely sit through a whole church service without gettin’ fidgety, and these folks were out there for eight whole months. Crazy, I tell ya.
The movie’s about 45 minutes long, so I guess they cut out all the borin’ parts. Probably didn’t show ’em eatin’ beans out of a can or swatting mosquitoes, eh? A fella named Laurent somethin’, he made the movie. From Canada, they say. And somewhere called NZ, too. New Zealand, maybe? Never been there.
They used all them things I told ya ’bout, skiiin’ and canoein’ and cyclin’ to get across the whole country, I reckon. From top to bottom, like they say. Musta been somethin’ to see. Wish I coulda seen it, but my ol’ eyes ain’t what they used to be, and I ain’t one for travelin’ no more. My couch is my best friend these days.
Heard tell they even won an award for it! Best Adventure Travel Film, they called it. From some paddlin’ film festival. See, them folks with their canoes, they liked it so much they gave it a prize. Good for them, I say. Nothin’ wrong with a little recognition for all that hard work.
There’s this big group of folks, actors and such, they call ’em ACTRA. They work in movies and TV and radio and all that fancy stuff. Lots of ’em in Canada, apparently. And they film a bunch of movies up there in Canada too. Hollywood North, they call it sometimes. Guess they got all sorts of pretty places to film, just like on that postcard my niece sent me last year. Mountains and lakes and such. Pretty as a picture, she said.
So yeah, that’s the gist of it, this Canada Vertical thing. A long trip, a movie, some awards. Sounds like a good time, even if it ain’t my cup of tea. Maybe you’d like it, who knows? Go see it if you get a chance, tell me all about it. I’ll be here, on my couch, watchin’ the squirrels in the backyard.
Tags：[Canada, Vertical, Film, Adventure, Travel, Skiing, Canoeing, Cycling, Documentary, Canadian Cinema]
