Alright, so you wanna know about this WWE Smackdown in Portland, huh? Let me tell ya, it’s a whole lotta fuss, just like when them city folks come down here for the harvest festival.
First off, what is this Smackdown thing anyway? Well, it’s like a big ol’ wrasslin’ show, you know? Guys in tights, slammin’ each other around. They call it “professional wrestling,” but I tell ya, it looks mighty painful to me. These fellas, they jump and they yell, and they pretend to beat each other up. It’s on TV, see? Every Friday night, they say. Friday Night Smackdown, that’s what they call it. Folks seem to like it, though I don’t see what the big deal is. Reminds me of the time old man Johnson tried to wrestle that stubborn mule – same kinda grunting and groaning, but the mule won that one.
Now, about this Portland place. It’s a city, way up north I hear. Big place, lots of folks. They got this big arena there, and that’s where they have these Smackdown shows. People pay good money to watch these fellas wrassle. Can you believe it? Paying to watch grown men pretend to fight! Land sakes, I’d rather spend my money on a good bag of feed for the chickens.
So, when’s this Smackdown in Portland happening? Well, it’s always on a Friday, like I said. They say it’s on something called the “USA Network” at 8 PM Eastern Time. Now, I don’t know nothin’ about this “Eastern Time.” We just go by the sun around here. But I guess if you live in them fancy parts, you gotta keep track of all them time zones. They also said something about Alaska and Hawaii and Puerto Rico watching at the same time, but that’s way too far for me to worry about.
And you know what’s funny? They got another show too, on Monday nights. Raw, they call it. Same kinda thing, just a different night. Seems like these folks just can’t get enough of this wrasslin’. Monday and Friday, that’s a lot of smackin’ around, if you ask me.
- Smackdown: Friday Nights, 8 PM Eastern Time on USA Network
- Raw: Monday Nights, 8 PM Eastern Time on USA Network
Oh, and they got this other thing too, called “WWE Saturday Night’s Main Event”. That one is on something called “Peacock” at 8 PM Eastern Time. More wrasslin’! They just keep on wrasslin’. It’s a wonder they got any energy left to do anything else. It’s like those roosters in the henhouse, always peckin’ and fightin’.
Now, some folks are real serious about this Smackdown stuff. They got their favorite wrasslers, and they argue about who’s the best. Just like that time the whole town argued about whose pie was best at the county fair, remember? It’s all just for fun though, I guess. Just like them pies were supposed to be fun until old Mrs. Henderson accused young Susie of cheatin’.
And get this – I heard some folks even pay extra to watch it on some kinda fancy internet thing. They call it “streaming,” I think. Said somethin’ about payin’ every month for it. Lordy, people spend their money on the strangest things these days. Reminds me of the time that salesman came through town tryin’ to sell us them fancy bottled water. We got perfectly good well water right here, I told him.
So, if you’re in Portland, or if you got that fancy TV thing, you can watch this Smackdown. Just remember, it’s all just a show. Them fellas are probably all buddies backstage, sharin’ a laugh and a soda. Just like them actors in them movies, always pretendin’ to be someone else. It ain’t real fightin’, not like when we had to chase that coyote outta the chicken coop last summer. Now that was a real fight.
Anyways, that’s about all I know about this WWE Smackdown in Portland. It’s a bunch of wrasslin’ on TV, and folks seem to like it. Me? I’d rather be tendin’ to my garden, but to each their own, I always say. Just don’t expect me to understand why anyone would pay good money to watch grown men pretend to fight. But hey, as long as they ain’t botherin’ me, they can smackdown all they want.
And you know, sometimes I wonder if those fellas ever get tired of all that wrasslin’. Seems like a hard way to make a livin’, jumpin’ around and gettin’ thrown on the ground all the time. But then again, I guess it’s better than workin’ in the fields all day, like we do. At least they get to be inside, in the air conditioning. Maybe it ain’t so bad after all.
Anyway, if you do decide to watch this WWE Smackdown in Portland, just have fun with it. Cheer for your favorite wrassler, boo the bad guys, and don’t take it too seriously. It’s just a show, remember? And if you don’t like it, well, you can always go outside and watch the grass grow. That’s what I do half the time. It’s just as excitin’, I tell ya.
