This here Augusta WWE, it’s a big deal, I tell ya! All them wrestlers, big strong fellas, all in one place! It’s gonna be a real hootenanny, that’s for sure. I seen it on the TV, them jumpin’ around and slammin’ each other. Makes my old bones ache just watchin’ ’em!
They got this fella, what’s his name…Cody somethin’. They call him the American Nightmare. Sounds spooky, don’t it? And another one, Seth somethin’, they call him Freakin’. What’s that even mean, freakin’? Sounds like somethin’ my old rooster used to do when he was mad! They all got these fancy names. Back in my day, we just had names like Bob and Earl.
They say this shindig is gonna be at some big fancy place, maybe it’s James Brown Arena. I don’t know nothin’ about no James Brown, but if it’s big enough for all them WWE wrestlers, it must be somethin’. Heard it’s down on that 601 7th street. Lord knows I ain’t never been to no 7th street, but I bet it’s a busy place. And that number, 30901. Is that some kind of code? Maybe it’s a secret message for the wrestlers!
And you can get these tickets, they say. But they cost a pretty penny, I reckon. Some of ’em cost more than my whole cow! From what I hear, they go from, like, 31 dollars all the way up to 85,000! Can you believe that? 85,000 dollars! You could buy a whole farm for that much! Average is like 500 or so. Still a lot, if you ask me.
- Monday Night Raw, they call it.
- Friday Night Smackdown. Sounds painful!
- WrestleMania. That one’s real famous, I think.
- Royal Rumble. What in tarnation is a rumble?
- SummerSlam. More slammin’, I guess!
They say you can get these WWE tickets online somewhere. Ticketmaster, I think they call it. I don’t know nothin’ about no Ticketmaster. Back in my day, we just paid for things with cash money. Now you gotta have a computer and all that fancy stuff. It’s all too much for this old gal. You can buy WWE tickets there, I think. It is so troublesome!
And they got these special tickets, they say. You can meet the wrestlers! Imagine that, meetin’ one of them big fellas. They call it a “Superstar Experience.” Sounds like somethin’ out of a movie. And another one, they say you can walk down the aisle. I guess that’s the thing they walk down to get to the ring. Premium seat, some paper with signature, even a coin! Fancy stuff, ain’t it? They call it “Walk the Aisle.” What a world, what a world!
And you gotta sign up for some emails. Emails from the place where they’re havin’ this Augusta WWE thing, and emails from the WWE, whatever that is. And follow ’em on Twitter or somethin’. I don’t have no Twitter. I got chickens, but they don’t tweet, they just cluck! They say they send out codes. Like secret codes! Maybe they’re spies or somethin’. And they say the codes are easy to guess. WWELIVE, WWERAW… it’s all a bunch of gibberish to me.
I heard this whole thing is happenin’ on December 15th. That’s comin’ up soon! I reckon it’s gonna be a cold night. Hope them wrestlers don’t catch a chill in them skimpy outfits they wear. They should wear some long johns, that’s what I say.
Well, this WWE in Augusta sounds like a big to-do. Lots of folks are gonna be there, I reckon. All excited to see them wrestlers jumpin’ around and slammin’ each other. It ain’t my cup of tea, but I guess some folks like that sort of thing. Me, I’d rather watch my chickens peck around in the yard. It’s a lot less noisy! But hey, different strokes for different folks, as they say. This Augusta WWE is gonna be the talk of the town, that’s for sure.
I still don’t know why they do this wrestling thing. They can get hurt really bad! But it is so popular. You can even get WWE tickets now. So many people are talking about it. Oh well, it is none of my business. I just hope they don’t get hurt.
